Thursday, January 11, 2018
To Name
A rose withered languidly
I searched for her curiousity
In my rain weathered pants
A nightingale calls me
To realms unbeknownst to me
And I answer in my simplicity
That I don't want to let go
But far away will I go
Away from languid poesy
To look for her gold and glory
Outside my charred and dithered room
When will she be mine
And when shall I sing my melody
And stop indulging needlessly
When all my teachers are gone
Except the north star
And a lighthouse burning bright.
This story was told to me
In a jingle jangle rhyme
Someone else always calls me
And the serpent raises his head high.
Mediocrity fools me
A co-dependence in mirth
Searching for answers in trust
And birdsong
I believe she will be mine.
Ashamed am I of too many words
With too little meaning.
But already the creator and the war
Fills me and goads me on
To some more.
I don't care anymore
For a dark and turgid melody
Self awareness calls me,
She will go and I will be mine
In my own laboratory
Where forceful waves break
Against my skull
And there's no more thrust inside.
Music, oh glorious music
You stare back with so much forceful pride
You are anybody's that seeks you out
And stares back bright.
In my eyes she shines
But little does she know her own meaning
Trapped in my ambitions bright.
Together we encompass the world
And beat out sadness
But comfort seeks me
And I keep it in
For without sorrow love would be a sin.
Enough foolish pride
I need to raise my head high
Everybody is going there
And I attract insults inside.
The serpent, the hood, the shining star
And all that between
The universes are
In love I trust and not finality
My North Star goads me on endlessly.
A hunger, a thirst and some skills
Are all that are needed for children to learn
What is hidden inside
Music, melody and the makers mark
And self cajoling divinity.
Sing it with me,
May the light never leave me
And my glorious pride
To find a permanent mate
And answers inside
For those that seek beauty in every form and shape
And compensate none whatsoever
With intuitions inside,
This song is sung.
For shame this world still slows down
But He rocks me on gently
Towards caffeinated delight.
I will never commit the same mistake twice.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
TONIGHT
I need a breath
To hold me in place
To signify the
significance
Of every last embrace
I light up a fire
In my veins
Searching for
guidance
In this disdain
Formerly Unqualified
Needlessly Volatile
I roam
Wandering the streets
Of Tonight
Where vultures crow
And dark is the night
I find my way home
On towards the Light
TOSHAM
Theatre
When
one day falls
And
another begins
There
is an interim
Where
all else fails
Continuation
of the circle is just not perfect
And
words fall short of the mark
Begin
anew yet again
For
without technology we would be
Eternally
looking back
Toward
our own bottoms which we cannot enjoy
In
our own hands
But
only in the other
When
one day falls and another begins
Return
to the night
When
the young one was born
And
scream sweet delight
For
welcome home pain, duty and love
In
the glowing rain of this perfect circle
When
one day falls and another begins
Sing
a song of caffeinated light
The
evening sun enjoys
A
little sunshine
Through
the face
Of
your own perfect child
TOSHAM
The Village
Unedited, un-ranked,
majorly thwarted
These ranks of
humanities strive
To create for
themselves a better world
We of the new ways
Stick with our witty
minds
And adhere to social
norms
Of identification and
demystifying
The unknown
For it is this we
call the Village
On top of the pragmatic thoughts
Of the Creator
Which the world forgot
But He didn't.
But He didn't.
TOSHAM
The Sea
Complete me
Said the sea
For one day
Seekers shall find me
Wanting you
For your gentle
caress
Together forever
Defeating evil and
disease
And preventing
madness
The sea it boils down
to you
Oh reader
Oh source of all life
on Earth
For it is in you that
seas are formed
And will be
Even after I am gone
TOSHAM
The Golden Chemise
I saw a feather,
It was light,
I couldn’t catch it
‘Coz it fights
I ate some bread
It was wholesome
But it made me fat
‘Coz I am loathsome
Running away from
symphony
I tried to find my
clues
In juice, junk and
geometry
Until all my children
Learnt all they could
I could not emulate
anyone
Even if I tried
His name was blazed
On an electric sky
I paid for those
paupers
Who felt sheer
delight
At the mention of his
name
Under a dark blue sky
The destroyer seeks
within me
To test my brain
Of habits destructive
and
Feelings of pain
Strange sounds I hear
In the rain
From birds whose
feathers
I fight in vain
The lamp was yellow
And bright his eyes
Golden browed and
dripping
With sure surprise
Of bird songs never
ending
On Lord Shiva’s sweet
chemise.
TOSHAM
STAND
I stand alone
In the rain
Naked and shredded
with pain
Too empty to be vain
And none whatsoever
is my gain
Everything belongs to
someone else
And dead are my
desires
Yet I soar above the
rest
Within my humble
abode
I call the jest
TOSHAM
STAIN
I assume I have glory
But in vain
I search for the
truth
In the falling rain
The crickets chirp my
name
Quietly, so nobody
but me,
Can hear I am sane.
Called out loud and
Forced me to shout
In this deep dark
drought
I find a way out
Of this apocalyptic
pain
Madness tries to
defeat me
All glory is mine, it
says
A prodigal son
through
A prodigal daughter
We survive through
aching gains
And prosper, for I
was born a poem
And a poem I shall
remain
Yet through this dark
night I gingerly await
The footsteps and
verdicts of those
Gone by without a
second glance
At my state
For what is glory?
Without a little
stain
TOSHAM
Solutions in Victory
There is a time when
time stands still
When sleeping hordes
awaken
To unravel the
sleeping sea
There is a place
where all suicide is pardoned
A wave that all
sweeps
A vision that all
unites
To let slip the vision
of God
Do not illusion the
time
By cowering with weak
parishes
Do not pretend you
don’t know
The money in
diversity
And the hellish minds
of the cities
Do not forgive the
unforgivable
And pardon any
mistakes.
Onward till the goal
is reached
Armored, sharpened
and rearing to go.
TOSHAM
RESCUE
A lone leaf falls on
the river below
A mynah bird praises
the dawn
Life clutters in
dismal agony
Stifling the last
semblance of a song
Sung eternally well
By creatures unknown
and prayed to
To forms well known
and adjusted
Birds in a nest shift
together unnecessarily
Bringing with it new
beams of resurrection
For birds always come
to the rescue
At the brink of dawn
TOSHAM
Redundant
Fight, harder and
harder
Until you come to a
meeting point
Where your blade will
be embalmed
To those saints who
can’t help
But cause harm,
understanding robes
And adore your
shaking arms
Awash with pride and
Soothingly Calm
There is a buzzing in
your ear
A long silence
Distributed evenly
across your blade
This lies to you
And tells you why
You must always
Strike at the source
Or the devil in
clever disguise
Will leave you
repugnant
In a revolution’s eye
Shaping from within
you
Toward the shiver
In her ever-shining
eyes
Lost in sympathy
In a system so
masculine
Bearing the drudgery
Of her long lost
pride
TOSHAM
NAKED PAIN
I Never be, ever,
everywhere
Day and night
Forget and forgive
and
Move on
For you jingle like a
rhyme
Lost in reason and
time
And move on
Like long forgotten
friends
And fools we didn’t
know
We were and existed
Luck follows no one
but itself,
We must beg and be
begged
For no luck exists
Without honest effort
and
Greatness
Which is through
gentle haste
Is blowing away our
minds
From that state
Of nakedness
Away with beggars
Who can’t find their
way home
And must rely on the
ship of fools
To carry them there
Through stains and
austere regret
I set foot on the
notion of pain
Marketeers and
mutineers everywhere
And not a bottle of
the sane
Remains, nakedness
and brokenness
Sudden death and
chilli flakes
My idea of pain
remains-
Soaked in tenderness
and despair
Longing for a change
In a century long,
old dame
Who for me flies out
and finds
No other with my name
TOSHAM
LUMINOSITY
There is a tremendous
upheaval within me
It is a desire to be
enjoyed and enjoy
My pasts, my actions-
There is a tremendous
attachment within me
To the faulty and the
unheard of,
Disciplined and
momentary luxuries are no more
Counted against my
sins and secrets-
It is a joy that
beholds us all,
My youthful innocence
and musings
On the innermost
recesses of my being;
Where does my heart
lie and what does it stand to gain-
To produce that which
I lack again and again
That which will need
me the most;
I am a man, an animal
in its most animalistic state.
To say I am a
cannibal would be wrong
But there are
certainties in others which I enjoy,
A new look, a fresh
feeling, a great act.
That which I value
the most is love
Toward the deity that
created this thought
For it could only
have been me and nobody else,
So where would this
deity go if not
Straight back in its
shell
In its shell lies an
amusing song
Taken from places
unknown and mystical
Where sadhu-babas
throng to wrong
Those who have been
strong;
A musing that I enjoy
is also strong
For supple is the
opposite of wrong
And as a man I once
thought I could do no wrong.
I sit in a room where
no wind blows
But my skin has
weathered a storm
Of madness,
incompatibility and sin
But I wash it all off
with a song.
Where my shell is so
strong
And I can do no
wrong.
Wealth and prosperity
comes to us all
For a light on the
beaten path
Where eagles have
soared
Centuries past
However it is rare to
find in an animal’s song
It has to be
victorious and kept free
To roam around and
sniff out
This self-defeating
charm
I am happy if happy I
can be at all
Without this poison
that unmakes us all
I lay waste to many
pieces of a song
That flow like a
river of blood
Through my veins into
the heart of my big estate
Beyond the walls of
which I do not taste or tempt-
Anyone else’s fate
Wrong is he who tries
to be
And tries not to see
Anyone else’s shoes
For pain and
repentance are crude
And privileged is he
who can write as his heart desires
Most of which are co-conspirators
of fame, name and gain
And dire this
mystical desire of breaking free
Of this witty
shellfish which most of the time
Makes no sense of
itself
But goes on beating
its own name
Against the fires
that burn us all
In one maddening
moment of torment
Rushing into its
torrent
Proven too chaotic is
a soul of markets
Or a market of souls
Where glasses are
sold and milkshakes made
For little sleepy
babes
To form their gentle
caress
Against my skin
That weathers a storm
Today, tomorrow and
again
To grow
TOSHAM
JUST LIKE THAT
I light up a
cigarette
Just like that
To forget the misery
And the pain
Just like that
A freedom from the
rain
An electric blue
train
Just like that.
Is this a beginning
or an end?
Or is it also
Just like that
Here I sit and learn
Through his reign
Just like that
Who are men and God?
And who is Mark Twain
Is it all in vain
Just like that?
I search for glory in
rain
Which falls
Just like that
For those who
appreciate pain
Just like that
It passes down from
father to son
Just like that
Who will say I am
sleepy now
Just like that
Yet it is time to
sleep
Just like that
Whoever more I can
bejewel
Her bedecked stain
For it lingers on
momentarily
Just like that
It was passed down
from
Mother to daughter
Just like that.
TOSHAM
Imperfection
Pain, Intoxication,
lack of understanding
Resistance to reality
Guidance to the Devil
Forbearers of Evil
Nightmares and
niceties of the civil
Thunder and Lightning
in the sky
Mournful loss of
hatred
Dyslexia of docility
In numerous women and
their countless cries,
Nodding priests and
wedding ties
Search for the sky in
which
Birds fly and sing
Their titillating
tune
And wonder
Why man is so
imperfect
In the night
Where all Demons rise
And choke the
blossoming seed
In its blooming sty
TOSHAM
Faith
Pleased was I at my
equilibrium
Through distortions I
find a way straight
Tumbling through dark
alleyways of hate
With the growing
disdain on my face
Laid straight, I
cannot concentrate
Walk properly or sit,
pray
All through my veins
runs a fox too cunning
To be near the blade
of fate
I excuse it softly
and it chases me away
From the truth that
we share
As brothers in arms
For the beauty of the
mistake
When there is too
much at stake
To lie within the
grace and graciousness
Of His snake, the
maker and the all encompassing
Mistake
Pain, rain, gain,
stain, main, juice
Try again. Ruin the
blade, sing the pain
Away it goes to
another day
Which calls again and
fades away
In growing disdain
Of the folk, the
rural and the urban state
On this plate
Laid straight, I
cannot stay awake
For people cry and
shake in loose
Buildings held
together by golden faith
TOSHAM
DARKNESS
Even when I breathe I
don’t see the point in it
Even when I live I
fail to cross my hurdles
Is this pain or the
lotus palm I bear upon my soul?
For we are different
you and I
And condescending our
nature
Ours together will be
the future if one might forget
Our inner nature
Trapped together with
the creator
We drift toward that
which is ours
And that which is
asked of us
To do
No wrong and harm no
Ram
Is He still our
nature
Or did he steal the
creator
How mythical and
mystical is our generator
Without whom we
shiver and shake because we think we are greater
Untitled our miseries
be
For none who are
greater than themselves
Who see this
blood-line?
Upon our souls,
ignorant as ever
Ever on toward the
creator
Drift the long black
lake which becomes greater
And starts to swim in
your mind
The co-operator.
TOSHAM
Blue Glory
Love breaks and burns
Slashes and twists
Weaves its dismal
agony around Him
But I wait and
protect
In austere reject
For King and Country!
My respect
For who am I to tell
What is in this
shell?
Of a broken hearted
man
So near his demise
That he does not
notice
His soiled chemise
And misused robes,
rules and drawls
Channelling through
me toward my sad device
Of saliva coated
empathy
I ramble on swords
Mythical, mystical
and divine
So far away from me
I cannot tell
Their spell
Has got a hold on me
Oh deep blue skies
Please open up for me
and others
So we can fight
To believe in what is
right
As a soldier
approaches his death
In a battlefield of
joy
Neither regret nor
sorrow he feels for the Deepening
Blue skies
All around him are
familiar cries
Of roads transferred
to premise
Oh Blue Glory
Find me my time
And erase my bad
memories
From my tummy, yummy,
mummy
And return to me the
soldier
Parched respect out
of his suicide and solitude divine
For the world he
believed in has died
And on to the next
one he flies
Like tampons thrown
in a dark light
Under a deep blue
moonlit sky
TOSHAM
A Wreck-less Soldier Divine
Love lives are
strange
They make you want
More and more gain
For where is the pain
When lust has begun
Its game
No miseries to behold
Or tame
I grin at the chagrin
At the mention of her
name
Through psychotic
lunacy
I reign quietly,
steadily and simply
Within my castle
walls of shame
Love breathes in its
sweet lullabies
Once again, I look,
yonder, at having slain
The last red book of
pain
Accumulated in the
terrain
And awaiting in the
rain
That touches me in
places profane
I linger on
momentarily for her gaze
That lights me ablaze
There is so much to
seek
And so little I find
That one grows
disdain
In this aching rain
I can’t stop it even
if I wanted to
Your pleasure, your
pain, is mine
My glory and my reign
peaks with you
Sitting atop my chair
And speaks to you
Never doubt me oh
Holy one
For what I feel is
real pain
It just comes and
goes again
All through the
night,
In the fading light
Of century old monoliths
Gathering rust, dust,
decay and time
For we want to feel
Eternally beloved,
That which we have
created
To lose his life
And survive under His
gaze
In His name and reign
Hear my rage, my pain
And never stop me
again
For I’ll beat it out
of you,
With a stick so
divine
That was so prejudiced
all the time
He will come bouncing
off the walls and
Protect you from
every insult
Uttered in His name
Oh His pretty wife
Christ, Allah, Shiva
and pain
Make me shiver and
cower in vain
In this dark sweet
melody
Of this transcendence,
hail!
Equality is sought by
those
Waiting to pay attendance
At his doors
Which are open to all
those
Boundless fools
enjoying the mirth
Of a century old sore
Yours and yours only
be he,
Through time and
torture
His methods have
taught me
To be brave and
conquer
The memory of His
demise
Through time and
torture
I form into a
wreck-less Soldier Divine
TOSHAM
Sunday, May 12, 2013
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