Wednesday, April 25, 2012

SECRET YEARNINGS

Nothing happens without her knowledge
She knows everything about me
Yet now when I need her the most
She is not around.
I need her to see me as I am,
Needy, greedy and base
Lacking all qualities of human solace
I seek refuge in only her embrace
Oh how I wish she were here now,
To be by my side, In my loving face.

Tosham

AN END TO TRAGEDY

I refuse to believe even for a second
How pointless it all seems
I refuse to believe even in the light of day

I refuse to see, even for a second
How pointless it all seems
I refuse even in the light of day.

How many hunger for satisfaction
And how many achieve it
How many times does the bell toll
In your ear, whispering sweet nothings

How does it happen that I fall from grace
And don't see how I pick up.
How does it happen that my dark side
Is always kept from me.

Another young one died in the streets tonight,
Somewhere, Somehow, We feed enough to eat.
Life comes full circle whether you like it or not,
It happens on its own, again and again.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Impatience

An ivory league of gentlemen
Knocking at my door
Forcing me to change the way I see

A base feeling of helplessness
A face in the crowd
A vision of freedom : resting,
Freely on a bed.

All these moments take too long
To pass
Me and my beloved must be united,
Now.

Present- 3:23 P.M. 19-4-12

Bitter
Cough
Smell

Powder-
Sweat
Nose, nail.

The smell of a cigarette on my fingers
An itching on my scalp
Sweat under my feet
Air on my body.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Struggle, Hunger, Panic.

So tired and exhausted,
How much I cannot tell,
I fall on my bed and hope
For a bite to eat.

My strength fails me
Yet again, to accomplish
The impossible.

I cannot attend,
Therefore I lie tired
Looking for a jet of fresh air
Through my burning blood.

These states of mine
I cannot tell,
From which came the first.
A simple matter of finding accomplishment.

The energy in my legs,
pound against the walls
Fighting to break free,
Of this struggle
That has seemed to become, me.

Bitterness

Bitter drops of almonds
Fall like tear drops from the sky.
The night is lit with warriors, agape
For what goes on here is beyond their wildest dreams
Raining chocolate filigree figures
A bitter storm arises,
Spreads like poison through its veins
The form undecided.
A rain cloud shatters above the battlefield
Drenching all those who stand.
The Bitterness washed away by a simple tear drop from the sky.

Not yet, not yet, is the word spoken in hushed intervals.
The bitterness remains by the side of the poison
And continues till they die.

Earning my right.

The couplet must be beautiful. It should not be like diary entries taken from a notebook. It should be like a sacred text and a holy tomb. It should have a concept of god.
(It should be placed far away so that it does not get hurt) the couplet should be amazing. The couplets should not borrow words from outside, but the couplet can break the cycle.
The couplet should be just pure poetry flowing through your veins. The couplet should come from a place of truth. The couplet should not bite others. The couplet should be soft and mellow to hear. It should not be harsh. The couplet should have a sense of style.
The couplet should be published daily and be read by everyone daily.
complete forgiveness comes only when the couplets are fully written.
The couplet should be popular at all costs. The couplet should ring a bell in everyone's ear.
(The couplet should be published)

couplets 1

If you follow where we are going
Then you will know where we are going

If you think where we are going
Then you will know where we are going

If you keep going upwards
you'll never know where you are going

If you keep going downwards
You'll never know how we got there

We've got to come together now,
It's been too many years

This bondage of you and I
Has suffered immensely.

The bondage must be free
And not broken in words

The bondage must have words
A freedom to fight for.

The bondage must have tonic
For failure of suffering.

Suffering is necessary
For where we are going.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

The Sun

A word, a pain,
A moment of despair;
Laughable.

Pent up frustrations
Emerging to the surface.
Love locked in deepest agony

Peace blows its white horn
And a silence grips the land.

Berry red, Ivory towers
Longing for the last embrace
of the sun.
Summaries of miseries,

The peasants summarize
And till the land till their backs break
Longing for the last embrace
Of the dying sun.

A bird is all that remains
Of a cry that was heard
In the Beginning.

A ball of white,
emerging from within
To soak all
In its loving embrace.

Passion

Love burns in my heart
For the eternally beloved,
Fatigue overcomes me
From the passion inside,
Night calls its dark spiders
To draw me away into its chamber.
I sit and sulk heavily
For the moment to be accomplished.
Today.

Nothing tastes as good
As silver
Steel against my skin,
Set against my teeth
This taste of sulphur,
Mere accomplishment will not do
For the flame under my heart,
A father figure calls me
And I yearn for his embrace.

Existence

Torment, torment, murder
Life goes on in spirals.
Beady eyed doctors
Feeding on their patients.
Finding a cure for humanity
Where nothing justifies existence.

Bitter burns of despair
Locked away in eternal torment,
Trying to find an answer
To the great eternal creator.

Pastime

Sleep overtakes me
into the realm of the abyss.
Murder fills my soul
for the torment of this moment.
Fear grips my heart
for the sake of abandonment,
Nothing to do but wait for
These seconds to pass.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Leisure

The prelude to the beginning of time
A smell of sulphur on your lips
bated breath on your fingertips
life is lingering on in circles
Time bends to its wills.

Devoid

When one day falls
And another begins
There is an interim
When all else fails

Continuation of the circle
Is not possible; and yet
words fall short of the mark

Begin anew yet again,
Find another source to the beginning
When one day falls, another begins

The Dogs

There is a time when time stands still
And sleeping hordes awaken
To let slip the dogs of war

There is a place where all suicide is pardoned
An eye that all sees
A vision that all unites
To let slip the dogs of war

Do not illusion the time
by cowering with weak parishes
Do not pretend you don't know
The unity within diversity

Do not forgive the unforgivable
And pardon any mistakes
Onward till the goal is reached
Armor, sharpen, and rearing to go.

Resurrection

A lone leaf falls on the river below
A Mynah bird sings praising the dawn
Life clutters in dismal agony
Stifling the last sentence of a song

Birds in a nest shift together unnecessarily
Bringing with it new beams of resurrection

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Love is.

Love is a string that cannot be broken
It is a mirth which cannot be quenched
Your love, my love, our love, together
Love is greater than all of us together

Love is a quality that makes you dream
Of stars and stripes and all the supposed glory
when in the end love shows itself naked
in all its glory, you but bend down in shame.

Love is a god that cannot be separated,
from the source, of all true love,
of truth, glory and seeds to be sown.
Love is a seed that cannot be sown.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Myth, Reality.

For so many years
We have been trying to prove
the myth, reality.

now when we realize
We see the badge
Pinned to our chest

The reality lies far,
The myth close-
Everything torn asunder

Beginning to lose.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Onward

The word,
 spoken
Remains,
The rest
Is desire

The word meanders on.

Silence- My better half

Love dies,
Unbroken in mirth
Resurfaces again and
Finds us wanting

Love lost,
Secret meanderings,
Careless trails leading
To untouched pools.

Filth craves its better half,
For love without truth
Only filth remains.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Your Darkness.

I am in your soul,
Your mind blocks my escape.
Let me go, or listen to me,
for your sake.

Your mind reeks, a putrid stench.
It's old, it's cavernous,
The voice that resonates from within you
Leaves me feeling unclothed
Every time it passes my soul.
It will replay the same thought,
The same vision, yours is a world
Of under exposed images and choked throats.

You could not precipitate
Your demonic ignorance-
I thought, being human,
Your heart would beat
That tune in your ear;
But neither that, nor this,
That I say unto you now
Will you hear.

You are no longer human,
Just a drool,
A string of filth on a spool.

It took me a while, my soul so divided,
To gather all that my mind guided,
Now I have arrived without leaving here;

The Piper awaits, the Dawn is near.

Ghosts in the Park.

I stirred into motion and caught sight of a zeppelin plane flying away over the horizon. I ran down the grassy slopes, waving my red banner at it in a manner of cheer filled farewell. When I reached the bottom of the gentle slope I stopped to catch my breath and it was there that I realized there was a place reserved for me on that plane.

Crestfallen and dejected, I surveyed my surroundings. I was on a flat landscape with small hillocks covered with green grass and dotted with yellow flowers that stretched out for miles around me. I could see the horizon on all sides. I spun around on my heels and realized there were no sides, it was only round and round. I had just missed my plane and now found myself dealing with a dissonant buzzing in my ear. I could't quite place what it was. I walked around for a while, chased a few butterflies, threw a few rocks around and realized the futility of my attempts; things could go on this way and this buzzing sound was  just not going anywhere.

I could not decide on what to do, because I realized I never decided on what to do. There seemed to be so many decisions being made constantly and I seemed to remember following these decisions to an end, but here there was just this strange buzzing in my ear and no other clues.

Directly ahead of me there was a small hillock that seemed to cover my view of what lay beyond. And now over the buzzing sound there was a strange rumbling sound. I shook my head in amazement over the fact that there were no physical disturbances here, these were the sounds of silence. The wind felt sharp in my nose and smelt pure, every breath was rejuvenating. My heart was beating to the regular tempo of a rock song when suddenly I became aware of the sensations, or the strange music coming from inside my body.
Listening to my heart I pulled out a song wrapped in a thread somewhere in my head. I followed the rumbling sound beyond the hill with my feet moving in perfect synchronization to the words, "the lunatic is on the grass..."
It seemed to be coming from everywhere yet nowhere at all. I could not recognize anything because just like my sense of decision making, my sense of familiarity merged into the unknown ambiance of this strange place I was in.
"remembering day, daisy chains and laughs, got to keep the loonies on the grass..." was all I could feel when I crested the hill and saw dark clouds gathering far into the horizon. From here I could see for miles around and the place furthest on my vision looked strangely luminous and foreboding. I turned around to see the last rays of the sun dance over the horizon. The sun looked like a child about to kiss the surface of the Earth and the Earth the perfect embodiment of the feminine, ready to receive it.

Somehow the buzz seemed to have subsided and in the silence of the twilight, I observed the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen in my life. And in that golden shimmering radiance I realized, I was not alone.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Didn't Think

I didn't think that there would be
A 'you' or a 'me'.
I just didn't think.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Boy


Tender footsteps fall
On the porch outside his house;
The child looks around in wonder,
Taking everything in with a sweeping glance;
He respects what he sees
Yet feels a strange anonymity within him;
The voice that resounds within is not his own.
He feels estranged and stranded.
Not quite able to comprehend what to do next
Or how to take in this situation;

The child moves then to the garden,
Where he sees many plants,
And thorns under his feet
Which he learns to carefully avoid,
He wanders from tree to tree and shrub to shrub
Blissfully lost but in the search for something
When a voice calls him back home;
He turns around, and in a shrug
Forgets what he was searching for.

With a smile he comes back home
And notices there is something to eat on offer, on a plate.
He gobbles it readily and runs back into the garden
Leaving the plate behind;
He is quickly reprimanded for his mistake,
Of which he had no idea of committing and
Unwillingly, obeys and puts the plate back inside.

He does not understand why he was asked to do so,
He runs back out into the garden
And climbs a tree;
He sits on it and listens to the birds chirping and the sun
Shining through the canopy,
He makes patterns with his eyes
Askew and out of focus,
He tries different means to entertain himself.

He dreams of being a cricketer,
Of being the best in the world,
And showing everyone how skilled he is.
He takes a stick and swings it and traces the trajectory
Of a ball that has gone miles into the stands
With the commentator all in a flurry;

He returns home victorious, covered in mud,
Clothed in a vest and a Lungi;
He expects a hero’s welcome
And pretends to receive an obliging nod from his father;

He sleeps without a care in the world,
The dream still running amok in his mind
And a clock ticks, surely but surely
Towards a conclusion, which just as surely
Awaits him.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Time



Closed doors and broken windows,
An abandoned old building
With a falling roof;
Everywhere is the sign of dilapidation.
The rain trickles down the walls
Making patterns irreversible,
Marking the passage of time;
Slowly and steadily some rust accumulates
On the pipes that travel upwards and downwards,
All along the walls;
Abandoned and forgotten, this old house
Still reeks of its former glory.
On the fruit of labor it was built
And without it death stalks it down.
How futile our efforts to make something
That unmakes us in their making.

Zen



The clock ticks away gently on my wall,
I feel the cake eaten the day before
Churn within my intestines and send up
Memories of its taste;

I loiter around the corridors of thought
Until after dark, when I am visited
By a sage;
He tells me to take a shit.

Desperate






There is some dirt under my fingernails
And a lizard crawls up the wall.
A sharp horn of the bike can be heard from outside,
Where it is really cold and only the brave
Or the desperate walk about.
I am not just trying to fill in words,
I actually do see and hear all these things,
But maybe someday, I’ll listen to the noises inside.

The End of The World




I look back and see the rift
Widening like a chasm between us
In it are many broken bones and promises
I see you and your eyes that sparkle like the sun
Across the shore, standing there and shining.
You look so beautiful, yet I could never love you,
You were so right and I never acknowledged you,
I look around to see the chasm on all sides and me,
Stranded alone on this island;

It’s nice, this space of mine,
Nothing wrong with it,
In it I can lay about for half a day
And think of the glory that waits in the other half.
I can dream and drift, close my eyes and escape.
The only way out of there is to fly, or to let loose
And jump in that canyon, filled with broken bones
And promises, biting like cold broken glass.
Every step will be like misery on a galactic scale.
But it will only take so many steps to reach the other side,
Where she waits with a gun in her hand and a black flag,
Flying high;

That pain would be brief, and I would welcome it
And for that I might even jump and forget about all the rest.
But there is a certain joy in being forsaken,
In being kept alive against your wish;
In knowing that day after day you betray yourself
And grow darker and darker within.
It is this joy that keeps me alive;
The joy of my life: green, oozing and perverted.

The day of reckoning draws near.
The day where not everything will be an abstraction
And indefinable, the day where I can actually
Send forth a message to the stars, of the completion of my term.
My time in servitude draws to an end, I can feel it in my bones.
The clock ticks me closer to home.

I set my eyes on the sunset,
And sit silently staring. One day
That sun will rise, and in a sparkle,
You will materialize before my eyes.
And we can choke each other, for all our worth,
Till death do us apart.




Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Honest Truth About 2009.





2009 was a year of sadness. Of crying over ghosts of girlfriends past. Of anti depressants and change. Of de addiction and cleanliness. Of taking matters into my own hands and doing something about my life. Of hardly falling ill and gaining weight in the end. Of forgetting old friends and creating new ones. Of finding out who I was and where I came from. It was about diving into the big bad city of Delhi and finding out if I can stay afloat. It was about turning over a new leaf. A tobacco free and an (almost) alcohol and marijuana free year. It was about changing my wardrobe and reshaping my alter ego. It was about adjusting once again to a new language and a new culture. It was about theatre and a new twist to the tale. It was about finding new pretense and new ways of being shallow and empty. It was about moving house. It was about one hard break up, one dark stormy night and unimaginable pain. It was about her and her voice in my ear crashing me down to the ground. It was about picking myself up and walking on ahead. It was about rebirth. It was about leaving the handrail and swimming across the middle of the pool and staying there to see if I would float. It was about steadfastness and strength. About a chilly day in Chandigarh with an equally chilly phone call. About the dream of a wrinkly hand reaching out and holding me, even when my eyes had opened. It was about staying with that dream. It was about hope. It was about keeping the lamp lit at all costs. It was about love, luck and normalcy. It was the search for a system, to stop double guessing myself and questioning my motives. It was about excessive thinking and how to stop it. It was about moving away from a loved one to stay in love. It was about looking for those that missed your presence. It was about those that asked where I was. It was about being rude for want of a better way to act. It was about taking and not giving back. About giving and not taking back. It was about coldness and calculation; bondage and seperation. It was about you and me. It was about us and the meaning our existance. It was about now and what to do with it. It was about self righteousness and self pity. It was about crying over spilt milk. It was about memories and what to do with them. It was about the search for a guru. It was about all this and more but I cant seem to remember all of it. Because in the end, it was about you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Earth



A dark cloud forms outside my house. I wait and watch as the rain falls slowly down on my window, drop by drop, trickling down to the ground. I raise the coffee mug to my lips and breathe in the vapor. I take a sip and step towards the window, suddenly something comes over me and I run out into the rain and just stand in the middle of the road. The rain falls slow but relentlessly, every drop sending waves of icy impulses to my bones. I feel afraid to break out against nature, against myself. Something inside battles the resistance, battles for a direction.
I look around. It’s an empty street. There are no people, just cars hiding under their tarpaulin covers. I start to jog through the line of cars and come to a fork in the road. A part of me fears the unlocked door I’ve left behind; another part says it’s had enough. I tilt my head, frustrated at my indecisiveness and run. I just run. I don’t know where I am going, I don’t know what will become of me but all I know is that I am gone. Gone for a day. For two days, for a month. I don’t care. But fear questions my motives. The rain feels colder and colder as the wind begins to rise. A few dogs gaze curiously in my direction. Feeling stupid under their gaze I shamefully lift a leg and pivot around it. And when my back is turned I run off in the direction of the main road. There is a flyover. I run onto it. And then I remember there is no running allowed on flyovers. ‘What a disgrace’, I think, to a freedom fighter that cares about the rules of his prison.
I run anyway. The road is pretty empty. The sky is orange and aflame way off into the horizon but dark and foreboding on top of me. From the top of the flyover I get a good view of the city around me. And I stop running.
I’ve never seen it this way before. The lines, running away in all directions as far as the eye can see. And the tall buildings not letting me see what I should see. There is no option in this mess, you have to walk on the road and you have to kill your sight on concrete.

 Now I feel lost, terribly and hopelessly lost. I sit by the side of the road with my head in my hands and think of my next step. The problem is I realize, I never knew where I was going in the first place. And now I see the city swarmed out like a plague all around me and me, a singular being disconnected from everything there is. I feel like a virus. I ask myself if I am lacking, but I get no answer. I run to the middle of the road and ask the city what it wants from me and it doesn’t reply. Nobody does as they are told. But they do it anyway.
I follow my feet home, looking at the ground all the way. I can’t give up this easily. I am not a building that blocks your view and makes you go around it; I am not a road that forces you to walk on it. I am a stranger, to myself. And I’ve stumbled on a strange land we call the Earth. And nothing makes sense.





Monday, December 14, 2009

A Penchant For Raving

34 million people in the world
Tell me to walk in one way
The rest of them congratulated me
On sitting and counting all those
Who had formed opinions about me.

6 strings in the guitar
Draw me out of the closet to
Sit still and focus
Till music is formed in my brain.

4 words from my lips pulled out
The soul within to empty
The vessel seldom seen.

I lose myself in her expression
And draw to close my penchant for raving,
I walk across the carpet and face her, arms crossed,
silently staring.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Misfit

I saw the melting candle in your eye
I saw it melt and drain away all my love,
I tried to figure out where you came from
I wanted to see who you were,
But when I looked in your eye I saw only love
And in your wake I saw your love's deeds,
Perfectly immaculate, rightfully deserving,
Everything about you seemed perfect and intact.
When I looked in your eye I cowered in shame
My shadowed heart still the same.
To be love's slave is to keep chained
The love inside of you.
I tried in vain to release the pain,
But you had turned and walked away
And I knew why this time.
So close yet so far, The shadow over my heart
Still remains the same.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Disturbance









"where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art"- Leonardo Da Vinci.


"The train rumbles gently across the rails, there is a strange disturbance inside. Somebody yells, "pull the chain!", the stationmaster is summoned- "for an hour and a half we have been stranded, what kind of peanuts were YOU eating?!". The stationmaster is unabashed and calls his Railway Police Force. He is reprimanded. A complaint is lodged. Words are exchanged and life moves on. Inside somebody is inspired to complain all his heart's desires. Quietly I ask myself, 'to whom must we complain and who will hear our plea...is the stationmaster present at every platform of life?'"

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Estranged














With bated breath I waited in that unholy twilight, something in the air made me feel scared. I held myself and waited for the sun to rise. Somewhere down the road a dog got up and lumbered lazily across the road. 'Do they pee as well when they get up?' I asked myself. I turned my head and noticed the gates were still closed. I waited another fifteen minutes before I picked up my bag and left in search of tea. It was not very hard to find. I spotted a group of early birds, possibly workers of some sort, collected around a cart, scratching and warming themselves, exchanging precious little knick knacks. I walked straight up to the  stall and asked for milk and Parle-G. Suddenly the pensiveness inside was replaced with a feeling of estrangement, aroused because of all the people standing there, their lives all joyfully purposeful. The feeling of  estrangement grew as I saw the first of the Black Clothes walk down the road. I hastily abandoned my approach and returned to normalcy. This was really starting to get on my nerves. If this was professionalism, I didn't want anything to do with it. I wanted a valley, a mountain, a fire and some time to meditate. "But when is that ever going to be a possibility" I wondered and crushed my white plastic cup. I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked on past the Black Clothes without a glance in their direction. 'Go on, take your best shot, I've got nothing to lose.' I communicated, and walked on through the open doors.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Pink





I took a walk,
It was cold outside.
Inside in my heart I burned;
Some distances are too far to walk.
I leaned against a car,
And ran a hand through my hair,
You live too far, I sighed
And a cloud formed on my lips.
I walked back home in a daze-
An image of you had formed on my gate
You offered me your nape,
I encircled your waist,
And together we stood there
And dreamed of escape.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

More of these days




Another day of bright sunshine,
Another day of falling romance
A day meandering in parks,
A day sleeping in cars,
A day chasing rabbits,
A day for all my habits;
36 nights in a row i fled,
Down the dusty streets of red,
Littered with dry rose petals
In search of the velvet thread,
I found two brown stones
and threw them both ahead.
A scattered wind collected the dust
and carried it away in a gust.
Now the velvet road was clean,
when i saw a camel lean-
On a Moslem arch of sandstone.
I shook my head in despair,
Another day of mobile phone repair.

With more and more and more
of these days,
There seem to be, More of these days.

Kiss







Smile,
Smile at me.
Look,
My brows are knit.
Feel,
this silent kiss;
Don't sigh and walk away,
Stay,
and be with me.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Silver Dew On Emerald Grass


































When another day had gone by and not a word of her was heard, I shut my eyes and returned to my starry eyed dream. In it was a rainbow and a unicorn, the grass was green and the sky was blue and the horizon stretched out as far as the eye could see. I ran over gently rolling hillocks to catch up with the unicorn which was hopping away merrily leaving trails of cheerful tunes.

Suddenly the unicorn stopped and looked up at the sky. I stood next to it and, putting one hand gently on its back, followed it gaze. I heard distant thunder and a light drizzle began to come down upon me.

With a strange sense of purpose I threw my leg over the unicorn's back and rode on, toward a pink glow coming from way off in the horizon.

As i approached i saw a mosque like structure, made of brown stone. The pillars on each corner rose up toward the sky, six in all, and a robed pink figure stood in each of the towers. I could feel their gaze upon me, but sensing no hostility I jumped off my unicorn and strode inside, into an oasis, a garden, a bejewelled play pen. A large dome covered the sky and many colourful tropical birds took flight at my approach.

I walked on on soft sand which felt warm and relaxing under my feet. The ground was divided by potted plants with thick green foliage. And then slowly, one by one, the other unicorns came out. Each was a different colour, yet each was every colour of the rainbow. I could not believe my eyes as a beautiful white mare startled me by flapping its wings right in front of my face. I smiled at it and it bowed gracefully at me. I saw that it was standing next to some steps that lead to a platform. I climbed upon the platform and on to it's back.

As the other unicorns rode on in unison under us in a triangular formation, we flew straight at the glass rainbow which welcomed us with a million crystals of light.

But the darkness, the thunder, the rain made their presence felt as I realised, another day had gone by without any news of her.

Bumpy Trumpy Spade





Moonlight beckons me down the street
I could not but my lover meet
Thrice forlorn and rather dazed
For a swig of rum my liver crazed,
Throngs of motion filled the haze
You could not but put the glaze
On the pots and pans and silver trays
Of crying children lather paste
To clean the hoodlums off the face.
Fine knickers and dirty clothes
Hung to dry on silver ropes,
Thrice forgotten my lungs began
To breathe begotten trump brigande.
Crazy, daisy, lazy tree
Speak the book, come after tea
Mend up this apple skein
To fill the cupboard seldom clean.
When a cold wind blew
From the north of the stove
It took out the flame
Carrying it thorough,
Down the street in a big furrow,
A juvenile freak with a rusted hoe.
Nails of lentils, corn and maize
Ate the insects lorn and gazed;
supplying them with a misty haze
A crow did crow a big ca-rr-oo
A lumpy, humpy, stumpy maid
Carried the frayed press
Down and praised
Over the hills and after the days,
I chumpy, crumpy, lumpy laid.

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Vulture's Man








Too long I have roamed these lands
To ask someone to lend their hand
To fill sand in virtue’s well
And desert this living hell

The splinters of a ship
Smashed by a cannon ball
Are held aloft like diamonds
Against the sun
That ship cannot sail
And the water is all but dry
But that glint in your eye
And the driest of smiles
Says you stopped being
Your mother’s child

Like a leper you crawled
Out of this moment
Always to look back
At your guinea sack
Where you and your memories
Spread disease and lust
For all that wasn’t to be

I fill this well with sand
And leave the land
To quench my thirst with blood
And die a vulture’s man.

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Invisible Landscape




"My notion of what the psychedelic experience is for- is that we each must become like fisher men and go out onto the dark ocean of the mind and let your nets down into that sea, what you are after is not some behemoth that’ll tear through your net, foul you and your little boat into the abyss, nor are what we are looking for a bunch of sardines that can slip through your net and disappear; ideas like- have you ever noticed that your little finger exactly fits your nostril and stuff like that, what you are looking for are middle sized ideas, that are not so small that are trivial and not so large that are incomprehensible, but middle sized ideas that we can we can wrestle into our boat and take back to the folks on shore and have fish dinner. And every one of us when we go into the psychedelic state, this is what we should be looking for, its not for your elucidation, its not a part of your self directed psycho therapy, you are an explorer and you represent our species and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea. Because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas, our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness, and so to whatever degree anyone of us can bring back a small piece of the picture and contribute it to the building of the new paradigm then we participate in the redemption of the human spirit, and that after all is what its really all about!"
-Terence McKenna

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Complete and Alive






I felt as a child,
destructive yet fragile
Sadistic and agile;
I took a stick and beat at the leaves
I took a fruit and smashed it on the trees;
I saw a flower bed and cut off their heads

I would not stop till somebody told me
What this meant
Why did everything seem
So accepted, so undisputed?